Never in a million years have I thought that ‘getting out of my head’ and tuning into my intuition would be the biggest variable to my progress in life. The word ‘progress’ here is a multidimensional element and encompasses the pursuit of success, happiness and joy in business, career, friendships and relationships and the biggest one of all, the knowing of who I am deep down in my soul. Having a relationship with yourself is essential to knowing how to set meaningful goals.
THE FEAR OF BEING JUDGED BY OTHERS
Being misaligned from what you truly want in any area of your life down to your political and religious choices can be heavily influenced by people around you. This fear of being judged by others is overwhelmingly present in the majority of the western world. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that sometimes living our lives feels like we are living it for someone else.
But let me ask you this: have you ever sat down and truly sincerely thought about what’s best for YOU without feeling guilt, resentment or shame? Have you dared to put yourself first and work on your alignment with your true self?
Many of us aspire to be ‘like’ someone else because we have role models, the media influencing us every day and of course our nearest and dearest, like our parents ‘wanting the best for us’. But what is it that we want for ourselves? Who are we deep down and what makes us feel truly happy?
KNOW YOUR VALUES
Know your values. Alignment can only eventuate from this deep seeded space of what you stand for and what feels good. In most instances when you act according to your values in how you live and work, things seem to work out for you and you feel good. However when the opposite is true, it is here you start feeling uneasy and uncomfortable.
To find out what it is that matters to you, try answering the following questions:
+ Identify the times when you were the happiest
+ Think back to instances when you felt fulfilled and content
+ Are there any memories that come up when you felt truly yourself and would you be able to articulate why
What were the qualities and values that underpinned these experiences? Try narrowing down at least 10 and then pick 3-5 that resonate the strongest with you. The idea is to always check back in with these values when you are making decisions in your every day life.
Having a vision that projects you into the future is also an important element to the energy that will propel you into the right direction. If you have that, it becomes a lot easier to keep on track.
HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL?
The biggest shift occurred for me when I started setting goals based on how I wanted to feel rather than what it was specifically I wanted to achieve. If you break it down, most of your goals are aimed at achieving a particular way of being or feeling but locking in a materialistic or uninspiring goal can derail you along the way.
Let me give you an example: if you think that buying a particular car is your goal, ask yourself what does driving this particular car represent to you? What void are you trying to fill or better yet, is it supposed to prove something to someone or is it just how it makes you feel? Digging deeper and understanding why certain goals are important to you will indicate what may need attention in your life right now.
Sometimes a goal is not an ultimate destination and it may not even be your own goal. You might have chosen it so you please your parents or spouse or you are trying to ‘show off’. How many times you’ve achieved a goal but felt empty or dissatisfied? It wouldn’t surprise me if you said ‘often’. Checking back in with those values and vision will help you determine whether you are working towards something meaningful to you.
YOUR IDEAL DAY
One of the most powerful exercises that I’ve done and something I regularly repeat out loud is the outline of my ideal day. I have written down an entire 24hr cycle of my most perfect day and listed things like what I am wearing, who I am with, what I am doing, where I live, what I do for a living, who my friends are, how I am feeling and much-much more.
This could also form part of your manifestation ritual. It took me a long time to believe in the power of manifesting but when I tried it, I was very surprised when my intentions started turning into reality. It’s like having a mantra that acts like an invite – you ask and you shall receive works more often than not. I dare you to try it on.
Lastly I wanted to bring up ‘gratitude’. Without a doubt, gratitude changes one’s perspective on life. I don’t think we can want more in life if we are not already acknowledging just how much we already have. It’s such an empowering and supportive practice. If you could think of a grounding exercise for the mind, this would be it.
It only takes a piece of paper and a pen and a reminder of some sorts that after each day you reflect on what you are grateful for. I usually list 3 things and these can be as simple as being grateful for the sunshine that day or my meals.
I truly believe that alignment in life only comes from regular inward reflection and healthy curiosity. Finding a motivator that will keep you on track in a persistent manner so you don’t give up is key to success and for that matter to feeling exactly the way you want to feel living your own life.
There will be ebbs and flows and unsuccessful attempts at achieving particular goals but they can’t discourage you from trying again and again. Life is short and every day is a chance for you to write your own true story and step into it living it wholeheartedly.
What was a recent goal that you achieved that also felt good and how did you celebrate it? I’d love to hear from you.
DO YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR GOALS?
If you think you could use someone in your corner to support you, motivate you and help you set meaningful goals, please get in touch for a chat. I have opened up my coaching calendar for 2017 and would love to work with you.
Find out more here.
Love and light,
SIDE HUSTLE TO FREEDOM
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