We are a week into our colouring for mindful living series and it seems many of you are having fun experimenting with the mandala colours. Please share your final masterpiece on Instagram by using the hashtag #mindfulcolouringseries. I’d love to check them out…
Our affirmation for this first month is:
‘You are more than enough’.
A lot of people struggle with the concept of being enough and often times don’t even realise just how much this subconscious belief effects the quality of their lives. The fear of not being good enough is a real roadblock that hinders progress and I see this come up time and time again in some of my coaching sessions with clients. I wanted to spend some time talking about this today.
What is that voice in my head?
Have you ever heard that whisper in your ear or that voice in your head that undermines you everytime you have a great idea? Yes, that nagging little voice that makes you believe you are not good enough to step forth and create.
Well, mine surfaces when I want to do something I’ve never done before. Often times it asks me ridiculous questions like: ‘who do you think you are?’ or ‘why would people be interested in what you have to say?’ I now know that it’s more or less just my primal fear that gets triggered by the sense of the unknown and that pushing through resistance is exactly what I need to do in these moments.
Why do I think I am not good enough?
Of course this is very much dependent on your own circumstance but we also can’t underestimate the unrealistic portrayal of women in fashion and media, the pressure around what it means to be a successful career woman, a perfect mother, wife and then there is Beyonce. Remember, how we all have the same amount of hours in a day as her? (insert a laugh here)
There are certain ‘unspoken’ definitions of success fueled by the media and societal norm. In this category you can find things like what car you are driving, house you live in, career you’ve got etc. And then of course there is social media and the highlight reel of someone’s life intimidating us.
I try reminding myself that someone else’s definition of success is not mine. I’ve got certain goals in my life that I’d like to achieve and they are very much underpinned by my core values. Comparison isn’t what will get me there.
A typical example is my ‘to do’ list – it’s never ending and every day it seems it keeps getting longer and longer and longer. But then if I don’t achieve what I set out to do in a day, I feel dissapointed… It’s such a vicious cycle.
Striving for perfection is another one of those elements that can undermine self worth. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, writer and research professor, Brene Brown, says: “Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect.”
Overcoming the fear of not being good enough – how to?
Self doubt is like ‘radio station frequency’ and I often tune it out by playing a game of ‘best case scenario’. It’s very similar to ‘day dreaming’ and I psych myself up by imaging just how many good things can come out of me being brave enough to plunge into the unknown.
Our sense of worth is often associated with the thoughts we are thinking. However according to Eckhart Tolle, we are not our thoughts and acknowledging this by the awareness of each moment and accepting it for what is, can make all the difference to one’s perception of themselves. It was exactly through Eckhart’s teachings that I started observing my thoughts rather than buying into them. He encourages his readers to play a role of a third party observer who has a non-judgmental view of those thoughts. By doing so, you allow these thoughts to pass through you rather than consume you.
SWITCH YOUR FOCUS
I was just listening to Sarah Jensen’s podcast, Rock your Goals and her latest guest, Tahlia had a great advice for us, overachievers: write a list of everything you’ve completed at the end of each day (no matter how big or small) and reflect on these regularly.
Shifting focus on what’s been done well, away from what else needs to get done, is a great way of gaining perspective. Keeping a gratitude journal is also a great tool.
And as for perfection, my mantra these days is: ‘Done is better than perfect’. Try it on and see just how much better it feels…
The more I live a mindful way, both in my personal and professional life, the less judgmental I become of my own thoughts but also of people around me. It all starts with observance and letting go. The exercise of colouring in could be an amazing facilitator of this way of being for you. Have you had a go? If not, come and download your first mindful colouring mandala here.
You are more than enough. Keep practicing that…
Love and light,
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